The Journey Continues

Yes, it's been waaaaaaaaay too long between posts in here and while I ought to be apologetic the truth is it's been taking every ounce of strength just to get through each day; one hour at a time.  I keep asking folks how come all I see in the news or on tv..even the movies, are those who've been through treatment and now are off globe-trotting or at the very least joining marathons, back to work and just living seemingly as if cancer had never been part of their lives?  Where are those who've gone through the fire and now are still crispy or at least still smoldering? (I'm in that second group)  Cuz really, I know I can't be the only one...right??????  Oh well, that aside, read on for what's up.

Last year at this time I was very sick, getting blood transfusions consistently due to radiation damages to my colon, in serious pain and then at the end of November finding out the monster had returned.  I was in such terrible physical condition my new oncologist couldn't even give me full chemo treatments; she said doing so would most likely kill me.  It turned out even the reduced dosages from the very first treatment sent me nearly home to Jesus; at one point I was so sick I did ask Him to just take me.  But, of course He denied that request and instead carried me through that terrible time.  In fact He carries me through each moment of every day and I know without Him nothing else matters; nothing.  This doesn't take the difficulties away; He makes them bearable.

So here we are, it's November again and while this journey is far from over I'm pleased to report the following:
1.  All narcotic meds are history!  There was no weaning off time, it was "cold turkey".  YUCK!  Two weeks of feeling as if my skin was being turned inside out was sooooooooooo much fun!

2.  I've had ZERO blood transfusions since the last week in March!  (As if 84 weren't enough, already)

3.  Chemo treatments were cut short in March as they were just creating more medical dilemmas than being of help. 

4.  I had a PET scan in June and officially placed in remission.

5.  Until about mid-August I continued to have serious lymphedema of both legs and while it still flares up I'm grateful it's not daily.  For nearly 3 months now I can actually wear real shoes!

6.  Apparently neuropathy is a common side effect of chemo and it affected my fingers and feet.  I still am experiencing this on the underside of my toes.

7.  Of course I lost my hair; ALL of my hair everywhere on my body.  Did you know that loss of nose and eyelash hairs makes life a bit more miserable????  I had to resort to eyedrops to keep them moist and clean.  As for nose hairs, yes it's yucky to have to clean your nostrils but without those hairs I had several nosebleeds daily.  Oh, and when body hair started growing back I got these awful skin rashes that have taken months to go away.  And my head hair?  It's coming back thick like it was before I got sick in 2008 but it's also nearly black and I've always been fair-haired.  Honestly, I didn't recognize myself and when it got a bit longer I dyed it to a shade as close as it was before chemo.  Right now my hair is almost  long enough to cover my ears.  I'm grateful the hair is growing back but right now I look better with my wig.

8.  Physical side effects from both sets of treatments continue to plague me; in some respects the damages are permanent the worst of which is to my colon.  I now am trying to adjust to life with what is essentially Chrohn's Disease; it's almost as much "fun" as dealing with my monster.  Other limitations might improve over time such as sitting, standing, walking, lifting, pulling, pushing.  I've become one of those folks who ride the shopping carts and then I get sore from sitting on it, sheesh!

Okay, so now on to the real uplifting part of this post:  For those who don't know on August 31st my grand-daughter became a big sister!  This blessing was even more of a surprise than the first grandchild was and now I've got two beautiful grand-daughters. 

Important as that news is I believe it's also a blessing I've recovered enough to become a member of a local church.  I've been attending services and even other doings there for nearly 3 months.  It's wonderful to fellowship rather than just "church" at home.

Also a long time coming has been being able to start exercising again.  For me this means water therapy.  Recently I joined the recreation center in the next city (ours doesn't have one) and now have access to a heated pool 7 days a week.

On November 29th, I'll be having my next PET Scan and will know the results December 1st.  If there is any monster showing up I'd be very surprised.  As awful as chemo has been for me I'm certain the monster got killed with the first dose.  I believe The Lord has healed me of this creep.  Residual damages aren't easy or fun to cope with but all of us have some type of life's battle scars, eh?

I'll be posting more regularly because this journey, OUR journey, continues.  My love to you all.