Which Direction

While there are a number of directions to take against my nasty creep, none have been chosen.  Crystal clear, though, is the direction of going forward to rid my body of this unwanted condition.  In this journey you and I have been on it's, repeatedly, come to light killing the monster isn't where it ends.  It's been awhile so let me remind you all of how much I detest cancer for the simple fact in many cases, mine being one, ridding one's body of the monster creates treatment side-effects which then become the new life threat.

Radiation proctitis most often takes years, however some of us obviously are 'early bloomers'.  At it's worst, radiation proctitis is potentially life threatening, very serious, very painful and is undeniably life altering.  The extent and/or location of radiation damage to the colon determines the level of medical concern; especially as relates to bleeding.  Internal bleeds can go on for some time with low blood counts being attributed to other treatment/post treatment things until 'suddenly' rectal bleeding 'begins'. Unfortunately even when the bleeds become external they can, initially, still be explained away if treatment is on-going or recently ended(nasty creep is also sneaky while it does its' damages). The pain, weakness and other 'accessories' of nasty creep create havoc with enjoying basic daily life.  Remember the 'episodes' I used to have with bleeding.....need I say nasty creep 'episodes' are more mortifying to cope with even at home, alone; therefore are not anything I'm willing to risk in public. (I'm not that cute baby wearing the denim diapers!)

Thursday I saw my primary care doctor to plan our attack on nasty creep. What treatment direction eventually is chosen I pray gets me back to healing.  For now I'm back on morphine and zofran to get the pain and nausea managed, my diet has been slightly altered and if the need arises, I'll continue to get transfusions.  Dr. J is going to locate the best internist within the perimeters of the medical coverage I've got and she's asked me to research online for one in the Houston area, as well.

In preparation for my appointment with Dr. J, I spoke with Dr. B to update him about my condition and any suggestions he may have to assist me.  The great rapport  with him is still there and made discussing this frightening situation so easy.  His suggestions and offers of helping in any way he can are such a blessing.  He was very upset with himself over this news, apologizing for this radiation damage. All treatments he gave me were so precisely calibrated/calculated to kill the monster but also prevent/minimize other damages and now here he was telling me he blames himself for my current condition!  How kind of him, but really, folks, considering the miracles God performed through Dr. B, I've nothing but kudos  for him; his God-given skills saved my life.  While speaking with him he was verbally berating himself for maybe not doing more to protect my colon and I reminded him we don't live in a perfect world; that I still think he's the best doctor, second only to Jesus.  After speaking with him I felt much more calm and as if I'd been given the key to a mega-arsenal of weapons to wipe-out my nasty creep.  Dr. B also made it abundantly clear my condition requires swift action, to not waste time with trial and error, then to emotionally prepare myself for the high possibility that to win this battle will mean surgically removing my entire colon.

So what direction will be required to get healthy remains to be seen; as a child of Almighty God I know He continues to sustain me. Plus I've also been blessed with all of you to journey with me.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ~~Isaiah 40:31  (KJV)