Working Towards Blooming

 

Once there was a little pink Rosebud, and she lived down in a little dark house under the ground. One day she was sitting there, all by herself, and it was very still. Suddenly, she heard a little tap, tap, tap, at the door.

"Who is that?" she said.

"It's the Rain, and I want to come in;" said a soft, sad, little voice.

"No, you can't come in," the little Rosebud said.

By and by she heard another little tap, tap, tap on the window pane.

"Who is there?" she said.

The same soft little voice answered, "It's the Rain, and I want to come in!"

"No, you can't come in," said the little Rosebud.

Then it was very still for a long time. At last, there came a little rustling, whispering sound, all round the window: rustle, whisper, whisper.

"Who is there?" said the little Rosebud.

"It's the Sunshine," said a little, soft, cheery voice, "and I want to come in!"

"N -- no,'' said the little pink rose, "you can't come in." And she sat still again.

Pretty soon she heard the sweet little rustling noise at the key-hole.

"Who is there?" she said.

"It's the Sunshine," said the cheery little voice, "and I want to come in, I want to come in!"

"No, no," said the little pink rose, "you cannot come in."

By and by, as she sat so still, she heard tap, tap, tap, and rustle, whisper, rustle, all up and down the window pane, and on the door, and at the key-hole.

"Who is there?" she said.

"It's the Rain and the Sun, the Rain and the Sun," said two little voices, together, "and we want to come in! We want to come in! We want to come in!"

"Dear, dear!" said the little Rosebud, "if there are two of you, I s'pose I shall have to let you in."

So she opened the door a little wee crack, and in they came. And one took one of her little hands, and the other took her other little hand, and they ran, ran, ran with her, right up to the top of the ground. Then they said, --

"Poke your head through!"

So she poked her head through; and she was in the midst of a beautiful garden.

It was springtime, and all the other flowers had their heads poked through; and she was the prettiest little pink rose in the whole garden!

THE END

 

It's been awhile since I've posted anything substantial.  Please know I'm going through a spiritual, emotional and mental freshening; it's disconcerting how I've allowed these areas of my life to become musty, dusty and even rusty in such a relatively short time span.  Add in trying to figure out what my 'new normal' post cancer is  and I left you, dear ones, hanging.  Please accept my sincere apologies.

On the medical side, here's what's been going on:

1.  Remember that HORRID rash I had for sooooo long?????  Well the source was finally discovered!  Seems the whole time it was the Oramorph medication.  I began itching about 15 minutes after taking a dose and to be sure it was the source I continued to take prescribed doses for 5 days and the new rash just kept enlarging daily.  So Dr. C had me come in Feb 1st to pick up new prescription for Fentanyl Patches and, yeppers, those patches caused a rash due to the adhesive AND as a bonus prize the part where the medication touched my skin ate it/burned it up.  

2.  Feb 5th was my scheduled appt. with Dr. C for labs and she gave me a new prescription for Oxycontin time release.  I need to get off taking so much Percocet because it has Tylenol and I'm using too much which can cause liver damage.  My labs were still bad BUT not bad enough to be transfused (come on blood!  Wake UP!!).  I go back for more labs and exam on Feb 19th.

3.  There's no generic form of Oxycontin and until Dr. C speaks with medicaid I'm stuck gobbling Percocets because I do not have $200 to fill that script.  Hopefully not later than Tuesday I'll be able to pick that up.

4.  Signs that parts of me are healing: I've stopped wearing size 12 shoes and most days this past week have been able to wear my normal size 8's!  My hair is still very thin but only a few strands are coming out when I shower or brush. I've gone from gasping for breath after 5 minutes of normal activity to 40 minutes before I'm ready for a rest.

5.  I continue to show no signs of damages to my kidneys, bladder or intestinal track.  You have NO idea what a miracle this is (I really need to show you the before and after PET scans)

Tomorrow, Feb 8th, I'll have my first post-treatment exam with my oncology gynecologist.  I really like her; Dr. N is so compassionate and yet very professional.  After my appt. with her I'll walk across the medical campus to the building where everyone but the radiology and gyno staff are located.  I'll be seeing Dr. K, the psychologist and then perhaps go upstairs to check on the status of medicaid problem.

When I get home I'll be calling my new acquaintance, Ava.  She's also a patient of Dr. C's and when the doc contacted her at my request Ava graciously contacted me.  I'll be telling you more of her in a different post, but for now know it was very helpful to share with another woman who's 'been there, done that'.  (we completely agreed that the internal radiation surgeries were ghastly)

In the upcoming posts I'll be writing about things in this journey I believe are vitally important and I'm trusting The Lord to guide me as I do so.  For now I'm going to close as my ride will be here at 6:45 AM.

Michael Burke, MD, clinical director of psychiatric oncology at the Emory Winship Cancer Institute in Atlanta, says there is a difference between a depressed mood, which is transient, and the syndrome of depression, when patients report a sadness or lack of interest as well as significant changes in four or more brain-regulated functions, such as mood, cognition, sleep, appetite, self-image, psychological thought patterns, energy, concentration, memory, decision-making, interest, motivation, and self-protection.

“Cancer is a perfect storm when it comes to how it affects the brain,” Burke explains. “The brain has been affected by chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, cancer itself, and other inflammatory processes. The brain regulates so many functions, including thought, cognition, motivation, energy, and sleep. When there is a brain dysfunction, such as depression or PTSD, it needs to be treated, so that even the sickest patient with cancer can improve their quality of life.”

"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."

Yiddish proverb