From: The Dept. of I Never Saw That Coming

I know God's gift of my being in remission is, itself, such a miracle and a blessing for which I will share the testimony of for the remainder of my life on earth; however, I have something new and completely unexpected to deal with: Depression.

Here's an excerpt from another blog with a link to read the rest.....by changing a few particulars in his post it exactly describes how I feel:

"I’m depressed.
I’m recovering well from an aggressive case of prostate cancer, I haven’t had any treatment in months, and all of my physical signposts of health are pointing in the right direction.
Still, I’m depressed.
And I’ve been ambushed by it. After more than a year of diagnosis, treatment and waiting, it’s almost as if, finally and unexpectedly, my psyche heaved a sigh and gave itself permission to implode........follow link:Ambushed By Depression

As a Christian I know firsthand God's healing powers in physical, emotional, mental and spiritual illnesses; my family can attest to the many miracles He's performed in my life over the years....including now blessing my body with remission of Stage 4 cervical cancer!  And it's because of these blessings I struggle to even admit I'm experiencing depression and yet I believe it's vitally important for me to not merely admit it but to publicly share it.  So here goes:  Hello, my name is Ginger, I am a child of The Most High, Almighty God.  He has used earthly vessels to defeat a monstrous cancer which tried to kill me.  I am in total remission as of December 28th, 2009.  I am still recovering physically from the trauma cancer and the weapons used to kill it have caused.  

My name is Ginger, I am a child of The Most High, Almighty God and I am recovering from the side and after effects of cancer; one of them is depression.  I firmly believe that God will see to it that is is no longer an issue for me.  My name is Ginger, I am a Christian and what I'm going through is nothing to be ashamed of and in the end will be another testimony of God's awesome-ness!

So folks here's the scoop:  as of today I'll be taking Effexor to assist in eliminating the depression.  I can see there will be a period of adjustment with this medication as it began to make me feel 'spacey' (ok, ok, spacier than normal....ummm, MY normal! sheesh) and nauseated. I'd just stopped having to take my Zofran (anti-nausea meds) and am glad I still had plenty on hand, along with also having 1 more refill available; cuz it looks like I'll be needing it.  In addition to the medication my first line of defense against depression is upping my devotional time.  Speaking with solid Christian counsel and also being in contact with another cervical cancer survivor will be beneficial.  As soon as is practically possible I need to move to Texas AND take a trip back to Wisconsin/Minnesota to see my family, those are very important factors to battling this.  The biggest step toward getting rid of this was admitting it even existed.

And since we've come this far today I also am reporting as of yesterday I went back on a full course of pain management.  I cannot remotely function, physically, without pain meds but I had gone down to 1 prescription and found myself having to use more of it to get relief.  So I'm back on Oramorph 2 times daily (timed release morphine) and with that I can cut the Percocet use to at least half the doses I've been taking.  Gotta admit I didn't want to do this, I really tried to wean myself off of all these meds and their lovely side effects but the simple fact is my body, while cancer free, just isn't bouncing back like any of us had hoped (this also plays into the depression).  I'm STILL believing that once my bone marrow wakes up I will finish physically healing and thus the need for pain meds will no longer be a factor.

When sunflowers look wilted that's when it's time to take care to harvest their tasty seeds.  Even in my wilted condition I've got a harvest of things to share with others; neither physical pain or depression will stop me from doing so.

The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field:
The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass.
 The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever
Isaiah 40: 6-8