Going Onward

Ahhh, a bit of good sleep, some fresh fruit, cherry jello and an ice cream sandwich helped patch me up a bit.  Darkest before dawn is what many of us grew up hearing; I've no idea if scientifically that's an accurate statement but when applied to problems in life it seems true.  Monday was really a dark day for me and I eagerly look forward to that special dawn.  Each of you has been there or may be there right now, too.

Tomorrow I go for an external radiation treatment.  I'm not sure why but it will provide an opportunity to get things worked out regarding the next implant procedure; better still if they could just finish killing my monster with external radiation.  According to Dr. B my monster is pretty much decimated so color me confounded as to why internal radiation is even necessary.  Of course I'm trying to rationalize something I don't have a clue about.  And, of course I'm trying to avoid another brachytherapy....hopefully you understand my selfishness.

 I think I should change my name to Quacker since I no longer walk, but waddle; I used to be 5'7" but the sidewalk seems much closer to eye level these days.  Although 2 more units of platelet laden blood was given to me in the OR the surgery itself has taken another toll on my body.  And of course even though I didn't complete the whole 24 hours with the implants the fact is I did complete 16 hours of pinpointed radiation which is busy tearing parts of me to shreds even as I type this.  Besides the lovely technicolor bruises from needles I'm also now the proud owner of a charming community of blisters on my "behinney"...possibly from the fashionable latex pantaloons I was wearing to keep those tubes in place (if those aren't blisters aliens have invaded my body).  You know what folks?  There's never been a boring day since this cancer gig began!  As entertaining as this has been I'm really, really REALLY ready to get back to being just an overweight healthy person.

I cannot thank God enough for keeping me in His loving care and providing me with each of you and all of those unseen, unknown prayer warriors.  What I would do without even one of you is a thought which brings a deep sadness to me....I so very much appreciate you.  I'm always mindful while I wrestle with my monster each of you has your own to deal with and I pray daily for you. Together we'll keep going onward.

If it can be proved that the great Father ever allows any of His children to cry to Him in vain, or if it can be shown that He leaves any of them to stumble home in the dark as best they can, then Christianity has broken down. But can it? There is no cause for alarm…each child finds a place of his own, and his voice is loved and listened to. It is inconceivable that the Father of fatherhood will overlook one of His children.

-F.W. Boreham