Not only do I know my monster is dying; I have proof! For the first time in nearly 12 consecutive months this disgusting mass inside of me has not (NOT) 'regurgitated' blood!!! It has now been over 48 hours! The pain and deep fatigue, is the trade off but I have a tangible bit of proof to hold onto. It's the oddest things one holds dear during a battle like this. I had excruciating pain after my last tango with a tractor trailer, too yet each time I could do something new I praised God all the more for that pain knowing eventually I'd be healed and be active once more. I feel the same about this; there WILL be an end to this pain/fatigue and in the meantime it means other parts of me are healing.
I'm sooooooo looking forward to less laundry, less trips to the dumpster, to simply taking showers where only sudsy water is going down the drain; to sleeping without the rustle of plastic beneath me, how great it will be not to have to carry my 'diaper bag' everywhere I go away from my home (complete with a change of clothing). Just to be able to take a simple ride without concern I'll have an episode, or enjoy going to a dine-in eatery without being nervous 'something' might happen. You see, folks, it's more than being sick, it's all the baggage that comes with it.... I'll be saving approximately $100 to $130 a month alone which has been getting spent on toilet tissue/wipes/pads!!! Whoohoo!
I'm aware my monster might try to give me a surprise but in all honesty I'm just believing That's not gonna happen. Right now I'm doing a happy dance for the victory of this past 48 hours....but of course I'm doing the sitting on the chair version, haha!
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear. - Winnie the Pooh
Who could even come close to imagining the small triumphs of your day, without hearing the multiple ways your "monster" has affected your life? Ginger, thank you for sharing your journey.
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